I have just returned from an absolutely visceral Morgengrau rehearsal and am relaxing to the dissonant hymns of Deathspell Omega's "Si Monvmentvm..." album. Why does any of this matter? To be honest, I am not certain if it does, although it seems apropos to place my thoughts here for now. Today's rehearsal saw new and old material displayed with a passion that is relieving to see after dealing with the mundane aspects of the majority of the day. No matter what changes in my personal life, metal will always be there. It is my life, it is my soul. To be honest, at this point in my existence, I do not think I could play any other form of music and be truly fulfilled. Naturally, there are other forms of music I enjoy, but I have no desire to give my creative energy to anything other than this beloved form named heavy metal.
That having been said, I am going to sit down and write a song tonight. I have not composed a piece from scratch in quite some time, and I am uncertain as to what it will sound like. But my soul will be in the piece, that is for certain.
After all, I have an excellent muse.
I think we take our muses for granted sometimes. But having deprived of such creative energy for so long, I welcome it. I will say, it will not be an Argeiphontes song. I want nothing to do with the energies that surrounded the creation of that project anymore, as much as certain people would want to hear what I've written. Maybe in a few years I will revisit the songs as a retrospective, but for now, consider the project done. That having been said, I don't even know if any of you will hear the song I write tonight, so I'm not sure why I'm tantalizing anybody by talking about it.
But at least I have a spark again.
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